life update: I have decided to do nothing

happy trans day of doing nothing 🤡

Good morning to the 172 hotties who have subscribed to this newsletter! My deepest apologies for abandoning you for all of Q1 2023. I promise, I didn’t mean to <3

Life has given me both emotional and physical whiplash lately, and I’ve been in complete survival mode.

Here’s a short and sweet summary of what life has been like:
(Scroll down to the bottom to skip ahead to resources, if you’d like)

The Good:

I applied for my first-ever grant for Queer & Trans Wealth! It was worth $120,000 and I got rejected, but grant applications are no small feat and I’m proud of myself for trying.
I was accepted into the CBS Leadership Pipeline Challenge, which is incredible and so competitive!!! But also so exhausting lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I was nominated for the Sundance Trans Possibilities Intensive! Wow, I have so much trans and Filipinx privilege. I met someone at a Filipinx writer’s party a few months ago who works at Sundance, and that’s how I got it. Extroverts, stand up: This is a win for all of us.
I submitted a one-minute short film to Outfest Fusion and they screened it this past Saturday! It was my first time seeing my work, face, and body on a giant screen. My first time hearing people laugh in the dark at my jokes. My first time having my work shown alongside other QTBIPOC filmmakers that I admire so much. I’m so honored, and you can watch the short here.

The Bad:

I had COVID the second half of February.
I got into a car accident on 3/3. I do have whiplash and tbh the near-death experience has me rethinking so many areas of my life, but… right now, I’m ok… just recovering, getting through it, and taking care of myself financially.
I had a post-COVID sinus infection right after the accident, and it was still too risky to see my friends and loved ones. :(
I had a roach infestation in my apartment.
The cherry on top of this cruel sundae: My skincare fridge died!!! That was the straw that broke the nonbinary camel’s back, y’all.

The Ugly:

All of this was happening with anti-trans legislation on the rise. My mental health had already been in the toilet because of the physical and emotional whiplash I’ve been experiencing. But these anti-trans bills cast a dark cloud over everything, and some days, I was afraid to leave my house.

Here I am on Zoom with my therapist, clutching my dead skincare fridge while I unload my childhood trauma. We both got a good laugh out of this one.

Usually, this is when I would panic. This is when anyone would panic. But this time, I’m taking a different approach: I’m doing absolutely nothing.

Now hear me out. I’m not a trust fund baby with unlimited do-nothing funds. I have a full-time job, multiple passion projects in the works, and real big boi financial responsibilities. (And don’t worry — you’ll still be getting your hot boi personal finance content!)

But I figured I can start by allowing myself one intentional hour per day (or maybe two 30-minute time blocks) to let my brain turn to mush and allow the universe to take the wheel.

Mind you, I am notoriously very bad at doing nothing. On Sunday, I even Googled ‘how to do nothing,’ then I stumbled upon Jenny Odell’s brilliant book, and immediately started listening to the audiobook on Libby.

Yeah, you read that right. I managed to turn a literal Google search on doing nothing into more busy work.

I first tried doing nothing on my lunch break this past Monday and I failed epically. I set out to make myself a bowl of vegan mac and cheese for lunch, stare out my window, and listen to the birds… but instead I procrasti-cleaned my entire house.

So here are some activities that count as doing nothing (for me):

swimming
laying in the sun
playing games
coloring, painting, drawing
eating (but not cooking or driving to get the food — I would have to start the doing-nothing timer after the food is ready)
hiking
walking — any basic exercise that is not an elaborate workout or sport
sitting in the sauna at the gym
singing
hanging out with the homies
‘touch grass,’ as the kids say on TikTok

Some people might include reading, writing, and watching TV in their definition of doing nothing. But I have the great pleasure of reading, writing, and making TV for a living, so that doesn’t count.

I invite you, my fellow Type A, workaholic, oldest sibling, internalized-model-minority-myth overachievers to join me for 90 days of doing absolutely nothing.

May we all revel in the simple delight of being bored.

Resources:

On Saturday, 4/8 at 9am PST/12pm EST, I’m teaching a financial literacy class specifically for transmasc folx through GMHC. This class is open to AFAB (assigned female at birth) transmasculine and nonbinary folx only. Sign up here.

If you can’t make it, feel free to send me your questions — I’ll try to answer them to the best of my ability on Instagram/crusty millennial TikTok. You can also ask anonymously through this NGL link.
My dear friends Hannah and Tan are hosting a bimonthly virtual HOT, BIPOC, $EXY, RICH BOOK CLUB.

They’ll be reading 2-3 chapters of Finance for the People each time. The next one is on Wednesday, 4/12 at 7:30pm PST. Details and facilitator sign-ups can be found here. As the name suggests, this is open to BIPOC only.

You can also get the first two chapters of Finance for the People for $free.99 by signing up for Paco’s newsletter.
I recently wrote an article with 7 tips for people who need to move to different states due to anti-trans bills. This is based on my experience of moving to Chicago, New York, and LA with very little money in my pocket.
Quite a few of my friends and loved ones have recently been laid off, let go from their jobs, or rage-quit (understandable). I recommend signing up for the Trans Can Work newsletter.

They send out job listings regularly, and they rank companies based on how safe it is for trans folx to work there. I also regularly repost job listings on my Instagram stories, so stay tuned there, too.

See you all soon with more personal finance tips for hotties <3